I see myself as a fighter…
A self-proclaimed warrior and life’s toughest soldier. I have been taking battles head-on my entire life. I came out of the womb into a battle where I’ve had to fight to live, to be loved, and to be accepted by family; I had to fight to create a peaceful place for myself. Sadly, this is the case for so many of us. My mom was told to abort me, because having me would ruin her life. My battle to live was evident while inside my mother’s belly. Death was ordered upon me before I could enter the world. My father denied me and said he would not accept that I was his seed. I was rejected before he could gaze into the eyes that could see no wrong in him; The battle for the love I needed was evident in my father’s denial. Having to fight for my life and its place in it has been my life-long journey. I had to fight to survive because both my parents suffered from addiction. I had to fight to just make it because I became a parent of two by the time I was 17. I had to fight my way out of abusive relationships. I had to fight because of my sexuality, because I am Black, a struggling entrepreneur and because I am a woman.
In the beginning, these fights were not because of the choices I made, but due to the choices and actions of others which created a difficult path to peace. It’s an unexplainable feeling that I get every time I think about it. It’s a hurt that comes from that dark place inside of me that just causes my soul to cringe. I wonder how different my life would be if I was accepted since the day I was born. However, I have learned a lot from the many battles that I’ve endured. I know that all of them made me stronger in one way or another. I’m learning not to dwell on a bunch of “what ifs”, accept what was done in the past, and how I’ve dealt with it all. I’ve learned forgiveness and perseverance throughout my journey the past few years. It wasn’t until a few years ago with the grace and mercies of the Lord that I’ve built enough strength to fight, get in place and walk in my purpose. He was that tiny flicker of light when the darkness had consumed me.
Every day I wake up, prepared to fight for a better and more peaceful life.